During those lonely years, even when Mom hung the phone up on me, I would continue to call her without fail on a daily basis, just to ask how everyone was. When my son’s friends thought he was weird and had 3 parents, I was the one who had to hold him close and explain as best as I could that he was a blessed child surrounded by love.
When Grandpa was frail and sickly, I was prevented from going to see him because they didn’t want an outcast in the family home. At Grandpa’s birthday, I just drove up to the house, greeted family members who couldn’t look me in the eye, or who waved me away as if I was a leper and wished Grandpa a Happy Birthday before I turned around to leave.
Any display of such intolerable “weakness” might be frowned upon by society. I might be deemed unsuitable to be a great mother, wife, daughter, friend, marketeer, manager, and tarot reader, if I shed that mask of a super tough bitch with balls of brass, and present my vulnerable, highly insecure and sensitive self. Society is unforgiving of people who are weak and vulnerable. I would lose credibility with Tarot clients and protégés if they saw my insecure and sensitive side.
In fact, true to Jung’s ideas, when I met someone who acted out the behavior that I was condemned for, I would react to that person with the same judgment. I had judged friends who chose to quit their jobs in mid-career to travel the world in a bid to find new purpose - I thought they were weak and couldn't stand the heat of the corporate kitchen.
Really, did I need to be this judgemental?
However, these cards were clearly telling me that I couldn’t just sweep my “Shadow” away as it was here to stay. It was a message for me to integrate with it instead.
The Lovers + Queen of Cups
The Queen of Cups was the next interesting card I picked. She embodies one who is compassionate and creative, yet intuitive and emotionally balanced. The Book of Seshet which explained the Rosetta Tarot deck in detail described this Queen as one that uses her heart more than her head. However, my experience with the deck and my interpretation of the image which depicts her looking at her reflection in the water, have often found her one who is emotionally balanced and controlled. I saw the balance in the reflection mirroring the Queen. The image also reflects the Queen’s need to decide that what she sees in front of her is true scrying or a projection of her own personal thoughts.
About The Writer:
The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and was recently certified as a numerologist in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.