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Thursday, 4 July 2013

Walk Away From A Reversed King


Have You Dated A Jerk In Your Younger Days?

I have.  Plenty of my ex-boyfriends were jerks.  When it comes to romance, I think I have got quite a lot of experience, having been twice married, dated several “imbecilic knobs” and got the t-shirt to show for it.  Many years after and honed by maturity, I thank the universe for presenting me with the world’s best husband who helped me believe in romance again.

So with memories of my past relationships still at the back of my head, ready for me to recount when it’s Joel’s turn to meet his special someone, some day (I told him “women are “money grubbing pigs, please stay with me till you’re 59 years old!”), I have decided to use the Reversed Kings in my Radiant Rider Waite Tarot deck to describe some of the men in my life – Lucky escape for me, I thought.

King of Cups Reversed

The image on the King of Cups card depicts a King sitting on a throne amidst a turbulent sea.  He is a picture of calm and control.  On his right, a fish jumps out of the water and on his neck he wears a pendant in the shape of a fish.  The fish is symbolic of his higher consciousness with which he is attuned to.  When picked upright, the card is a manifestation of one who is emotionally in control, highly intuitive, and has a kind and compassionate character. 

However, the bloke I dated back in Year 1 of my university days, by the name of YL, is completely the opposite.  YL was a moody, sulky and silent type.  He reminded me of a male version of Kirsten Stewart from Twilight, and often brandished a broody look not unlike what you see on a poster advertising a branded aftershave.  I think I fell for him because I thought he was the strong and silent type and contrasted markedly to my vibrant, child-like and bubbly personality. YL did not have many friends and came from a very traditional Asian family.  His Dad was a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner and one day YL was supposed to take over his Dad’s little traditional Chinese medicine shop.  As an eldest boy, the weight of the family’s business was on his shoulders.  YL often struggled between that filial Chinese son and the man he really wanted to be.  He wanted to be an artist – a profession his dad thought was useless and couldn’t make enough income to sustain a respectable lifestyle. 

I think part of YL’s mood swings was due to his unhappiness at being repressed at home.  What’s funny though, is he expected me to be similarly repressed.  He didn’t like my gregarious nature.  When I laughed loudly, or giggled uncontrollably, he would bellow, “Behave yourself.”  I was often treated like a child when he would just walk away from me in a huff in a public place like the university library, just because he didn’t like me smiling at another bloke, or talking to my friends.  In fact, he hated my friends.  In the few months that we dated, we never socialized with my friends because he thought “they were a bad influence”.  Come to think of it, he didn’t have friends either. 

One day, while we were studying at the library, YL had a tiff with me about how short my skirt was and was about to walk out on me for the umpteenth time.  So I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “No, you sit.  It’s my turn to walk away.”  And I never looked back since.

King of Pentacles Reversed

The image on the King of Pentacles card depicts a King sitting on a throne carved with bulls, a symbol of hard work and he brandished a scepter in his right hand, a symbol of power and a coin in his left hand, a symbol of wealth.  His robe is covered with fruits, flowers and leaves and laid at his feet are also fruits, flowers and leaves, all are symbols of abundance and prosperity.  This King in reversed would be a manifestation of one who is obsessive about material things in life. 

My King of Pentacles Reversed, is a manifestation of the character of an ex-boyfriend HY.  HY is a very hardworking man, but that’s the problem.  He knows only work, talks about work, met me at a work function and only socializes when work is concerned.  He was the CEO of a mutual funds company which meant he was well-to-do and enjoyed the good things in life.  We went to the best restaurants and I had the best prezzies.  However, he wouldn’t be seen dead beside me if I wore no makeup and wasn’t dressed in one of the designer frocks he bought me. 

His circle of friends were all CEOs, MDs, and Chairmen of companies. I was so bored whenever these friends came around to his home for a drink and was even more bored when we went out to the restaurants for expensive dinners.  Perhaps I wasn’t as clever and couldn’t hold intelligent conversations about the fluctuating price of commodities and the wisdom of investing in BRIC markets.  I was only a heart-lander lass hoping to find true love. I enjoyed walking around in flip flop and eating at public food centres.  His idea of a meal was at a 3-star Michelin restaurant. 

HY was obsessed about money.  In his mind, his only objective in life was to make more money. He told me that the reason he worked so hard, was to ensure he led a comfortable life.  I didn’t see that comfortable life because he didn’t have weekends. I on the other hand, enjoyed picnics at the beach with my little son on weekends, or shopping with my girlfriends on weekends, or going for a nice cup of tea and a scone at the latest coffee shop with my friends on weekends.   He thought hanging out with my friends were a waste of time because they lent nothing valuable to him. 
Our relationship ended when he told me openly that he was embarrassed when I drove that 30 year old hand-me-down mercedez benz to his home on weekends in full view of his neighbors.  I wasn’t sure if he was ashamed of me, or of my beaten up car.  So I was glad to wave goodbye as I drove my beloved merc away from his house.

King of Wands Reversed

The image on the King of Wands card depicts a King sitting on a throne brandishing a rod with leaves growing from it which represents him nurturing life and encouraging creativity. He wears a bright orange robe and on the ground is a salamander looking up at him, all of which are symbols of fire.  This King represents passion, will and enthusiasm.  He is the King that will take creativity to new heights and has the drive to turn everything he does into a success.  However, in the reversed, this King represents one who makes impulsive decisions, and is highly aggressive and overbearing.

This is representative of my ex-boyfriend MD.  MD owns a vineyard in the little Australian town of Mildura. He is quite short for a guy, and I often think that part of his aggressiveness was due to what I termed as a “small dick syndrome”.  He was a businessman and thought of himself as Donald Trump because of the vast hectares of land that he owned.  Frankly in a little town of Mildura which possibly is home to 2000 and your Mildurian Mum is your sister, is your cousin, is your Aunt, and they make a living playing the banjo in a tree, this Donald Trump want-to-be was nothing more than a small-time grape farmer.   The reason I am unfairly scathing here, and I apologize to friends who are from Mildura or who know people from Mildura, is that of all the boyfriends who had hurt me, MD had hurt me the most.

I met MD through an Australian trade event here in Singapore that was aimed at fostering Australia-Singapore trade ties.  We fell madly in love, and that whirlwind romance led to MD setting up a little business for me here in Singapore, dealing with Australian desert art.  I was big on charity then, and I had my mind set on doing a business that pays it forward to an Australian aboriginal tribe who created the art pieces.  However, he wanted me to make loads of money from it, and kept badgering me about setting up meetings with other companies and private homeowners to sell commissioned art pieces.

MD was a bully.  He dominated me and treated me more like his staff than a girlfriend.  When my son was very little, and was crying for attention while we were both watching TV, MD said, “Give the boy a fag to shut him up.” I was really upset with that.  Our relationship ended shortly after, and the art business went along with it.  He went home to Mildura to be with his banjo-playing folks.   Then just about 6 months later, MD phoned me to say, ” I got a Polish girl named Paulana pregnant and am marrying her next week. I just wanted you to know that.” I thought for a moment, that intelligent businessman I once knew must have died.  He had just hastily rushed into one relationship after acrimoniously splitting with me and worse, made a grave decision to marry a woman he hardly knew!  I was quite hurt, but nonetheless relieved that I got rid of that stupid bugger.

King of Swords Reversed

The image on the King of Swords card depict a King sitting on a throne brandishing an upward pointing sword.  He is in command and makes sure everyone knows it.  Behind him emblazoned on his throne are butterfly motifs, a symbol of transformation and above him, the skies are clear, a symbol of mental clarity. In the reversed, this King represents one who is brutal, cunning, and cutting with his words, abusive and tyrannical.

My reversed King of Swords was one of my ex-bosses.  No I didn’t date him. I didn’t have a boyfriend that was like the King of Swords Reversed, thank goodness.  If I had dated anyone like this jerk, I would have run him over with my car twice.  I tried to find someone in my mind that took on the character traits of the reversed King of Swords, and the only person I could think of that fitted the description was EK, an ex-boss from the bank that I worked in. 

When I was working at that company, EK had originally hired me for a regional role in that company that covered 5 countries.  On my first day at the job, he told me that he had carved the role into 2 and given me charge of Singapore and Thailand only.  I was unhappy, but had decided to just roll with the punches.  Over the next 2 years, EK had often singled me out for anything that went wrong.  He would ply me with hurtful accusations like “you were not strategic enough as a marketeer”, “you did not think of this idea earlier”, “you are not good with numbers, what use are you?”, and “you are not cut out to be a marketeer”.  Now, EK is a salesman at best, while I was a technically trained marketeer with more than 10 years of experience then.  His words had begun to cut into me, destroying my confidence completely and made me return home from work every day feeling like I was truly useless.  He would manipulate the rest of the staff in the department to ostracize me and would publicly rebuke me with offensive phrases in the Chinese dialect of Hokkien.  To translate, he said to me “If you can’t swim, please don’t blame it on the size and weight of your balls.”  I was totally offended by that comment.  Having worked in blue chip MNCs that prided themselves for treating employees respectfully, this was a complete culture shock for me.

Needless to say, I left that company within 2 years and went on to join another company that knew how to treat their staff with respect.  The wounds of those 2 years working with EK still sits deeply in my heart but I have turned those wounds around to be my tool of learning.  I have learnt to be the best boss, mentor and friend to my team members in my present company.

Walk Away When A Reversed King Crosses Your Path

At this stage of my life, thankfully, I haven’t come across a reversed King.  I believe that I am mature enough to be able to manage a reversed King and if all else fails, I would just swing my handbag at the jerk that takes on the character traits of any of the reversed King.

So if you’re a new tarot reader or a client had encountered a reversed King in your tarot spread, don’t panic.  Just ask this one simple question “Is this person worth investing my energy and resources in?”  If the answer is no, please walk away.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She obtained a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She currently runs a Tarot consultancy called Sun Goddess Tarot based in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.

She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the advice. It is good to know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I call bullshit on these stories of boyfriends past. Nice creative writting tho.

    ReplyDelete