I Do What I Do Best Because I Am Who I Am

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”  ~ Marianne Williamson, Return to Love 

Discovering A Common Pattern In My Readings

I often swap tips and stories with fellow intuitives and felt so inadequate that they seemed to be able to connect with their guides so clearly, but it was much harder for me as I might lose my focus due to other images coming into my mind.  So, I started analyzing all the readings I had done in the last few months using a combination of channeling and my Tarot cards.  There seemed to be a common technique I noticed that I had used in the readings, starting each reading by connecting with my clients' chakras, going into visioning, automatic writing and then Tarot cards for validation.  There was also a common theme to these readings.  I noticed that within all of them. I had connected to past energies very strongly and these past energies had a significant impact in my clients' present circumstances and potentially future outcomes.  An example of a reading like this can be found here.

Working With Past Energies To Support Healing Work

One of my intuitive coaches, Karina Ladet, comforted me during my moments of self-doubt by reminding me that each intuitive reader was different in their skills, abilities and techniques and she felt that one of my gifts was to help clients with their present issues by uncovering past issues that they had to release.  So she wanted me to acknowledge that gift, nurture and hone it to sharpen these skills.  

First Channeling Session For Marianne

I had the opportunity to do so with a client Marianne.  Please note that I have changed her name in this blog post to protect her privacy. I worked on her healing process for some weeks. When I started channeling for Marianne, I was not given any background to any issues she might have had then. After I got into deep meditation to ground myself, I ran my hands around my chakra points to connect with hers, and found her throat chakra so tight that it was choking me.  It was as if she was trying to express herself but could not do so.  Her crown and third eye chakras were brilliant that  I was able to connect with the white light just above these chakras.  Of course they were, she was a fellow intuitive and I knew these chakras were opened and she was, on her own, also trying to connect with her higher self.   That was when 2 people appeared in my vision holding on to a door as if to open it, but I also saw a child clinging onto her right thigh, as if she was demanding for attention.  At that point, my heart and solar plexus tightened and I felt a cord attached to both these chakras, causing a lot of anxiety and fears. 

Nothing Is Ever What It Seems

As I had seen a child in my vision, I asked Marianne if she had lost a child before and she admitted that she had suffered a miscarriage.  I then deduced straight away that the cord of anxiety was caused by her experience of that miscarriage and her worries about whether she could have more babies in the future.  I wished I had remembered then that an ex-boss and friend once told me, "nothing is ever what it seems." 

Then as I continued my visioning work, I saw a hill and I kept gasping for air. As a psychic empath, I thought that I was assuming Marianne's anxieties and her efforts to cope with her grief.  So I told her, " I think I see a hill and perhaps you need to go sit there for awhile to meditate and release your anxiety and grief."  She nodded in agreement to that advice and I then proceeded to visualize myself helping her to cut the cords from her solar plexus and heart chakras.  I was also guided by my messages that I had to do a grounding meditation, draw up the healing energy from the earth in my visualization and then sent Marianne that healing light.  

Marianne left that session happy and we both felt that we had  addressed her issues.  Nothing is ever what it seems.

Second Channeling Session For Marianne

2 weeks later, she called on me again.  She was clearly in despair and she said, " I feel I am not to able to manifest abundance.  I feel a lot of anxieties about not being able to have another child.  Maybe it is because I don't deserve it."  I chided her for such negative thinking but it struck me that this depression, was not a new problem.  She had been there before numerous times and her negativity seemed to be haunting her again due to an unresolved issue.  So I decided to channel for her again.  This time, I ventured to go back a little further, and go in a little deeper.

During my  second  channeling session with Marianne, I saw a few images and proceeded to write them down. The first image was that of a child lying on the floor holding on to her long skirt as if she was throwing a tantrum.  It was as if the child was reacting to not getting what she wanted from her parent.  However, while in the last channeling session, I had seen the child from a 3rd person's viewpoint, now, I seem to be seeing the adult from the child's viewpoint.  It occurred to me suddenly that I was looking at the adult from Marianne's eyes. The child was actually Marianne!   Wow!   The second image was that of the child's face welded  into Marianne's heart like it was branded onto her chest.  My heart and solar plexus chakras tightened again, reflecting Marianne's own fears and anxieties.  She was clinging on to a burden of pain, fear and anxiety in her heart.  I thought I had cut those cords!  The third image was of Marianne lying down and resting, as if she was recuperating from a battle.  The fourth image was of a  lady who turned her back away from me to walk into the light.  I interpreted it as a message telling her to surrender to the light of the Universe.  I felt a burning in my throat chakra at that point and it was telling me there were things she wanted to express but she could not.  My right neck and right back of head hurt too, as if she was carrying a past burden of disappointment or guilt.   

Right On The Button

The lightbulb in my head just went off.  I realized that after 2 channeling sessions, the real issue Marianne was suffering from was her clinging to past disappointments or guilt that had occurred during her childhood.  This was a recurring issue that haunted her and because he had not sought closure, she could not let go of the past, and consequently, she was not able to be healed. 

With that conclusion, I then proceeded to draw my Tarot cards to validate my findings.  I picked the 6 of Swords, 7 of Swords, the 6 of Cups reversed and the Sun reversed.  The cards validated my interpretation of the messages I got from these visions.  I saw a story unfolding in my head, like a video playing a home movie. Marianne was clinging on to a past disappointment when the family went through a divorce and her father left her mother and her due to his infidelities.  As a child, Marianne felt so much guilt about not being able to do anything to help the situation and worse, her mother had to struggle through that single motherhood to try to bring little Marianne up on her own.  As she was unable to cope with providing for Marianne, the little girl was sent to a government-funded childcare facility.  Marianne suffered depression as a result.  That child in my vision in both channeling sessions, really was Marianne trying to deal with her past of growing up in a broken home. 

The Healing For Marianne

With this insight, I advised Marianne to do a healing meditation together with me.  On my part, I went deep into meditation and visualised myself cutting the final cords to her "inner child".  On her part, she went deep into meditation where she sat with her "inner child" for a while to acknowledge its presence, and all the feelings of hurt and disappointment.  In her visualisation process, she embraced her "inner child", and offered it love and healing.  She visualised herself going through a photo album with her "inner child".  That photo album was filled with pages of her childhood photos.  Then after embracing her "inner child" and letting the past hurts dissipate in both their tears, she saw her "inner child" walk away and disappearing across a hill.  I remembered that in the first channeling session, I saw that hill.  Now I realised what that hill had symbolised.

The Healing For Me

This reading for Marianne, was a tremendous eye opener that affirmed Karina's very wise advice that I should focus on honing my skills in working on past energies to support my clients' journeys  through their respective healing process.  

I often questioned my intuitive abilities, and turned the messages and visions  I got in my mind's eye around for umpteen times, then ended up not communicating these messages and visions at all out of fear that I might be wrong.   However, Karina's advice had gotten me to approach Marianne's reading from a different perspective.  This had helped uncovered the root cause of the issue and opened the right door for us to work on her healing process. 

A big takeaway for me from Karina's advice and my reading for Marianne, was the need to have the courage to love myself and trust in my intuitive gifts without the need for validation. Thanks to these ladies, I was reminded that I do what I do best because I am who I am. 

"A Woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing.  She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself."  ~  Maya Angelou 

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About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade and an intuitive reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She is currently running a consultancy based in Singapore called Sun Goddess Tarot,  which provides confidential intuitive readings combining the metaphysical disciplines of Tarot, Numerology and Astrology overlaid with her Clairvoyant and Clairsentient skills via face to face and emails as well as readings at corporate and private events and workshops.  A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and mentors Tarot protégés on behalf of the American Tarot Association.

Website: www.sungoddesstarot.com
Email:  Joanna@sungoddesstarot.com
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Photo Credit:  Joel Lee, East Coast Beach, Singapore