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Friday, 17 August 2012

Cutting Through The Chatter In My Mind

From time to time, I get pulled into an emotional roller coaster at work. I would be sucked backwards into a tunnel of stress, mismatched expectations, misalignment of values resulting in a lack of confidence, only to be sped forward like a crashing wave into an exhilarating high for the satisfaction felt about making a right business decision, or having completed a major project, or doing something right for the team. With this intense emotional see-sawing, I often fall into a mentally exhausting routine of self-evaluation.

Likewise, as a tarot reader and numerologist bent on turning my gifts into something positive which brings light to others in need, I also go through a similar emotional roller coaster which sees me questioning the science behind the depth of my intuition. What's funny is that I am noticing that my intuition is getting stronger everyday and there are times I do not even need the cards to guide me through a story I want to tell my clients because that vision is already in my head when I see him or her. I can understand and accept the skepticism of family and friends around my gifts, but I am sometimes harder on myself and would retreat for awhile into a period of self evaluation and further studies into my library of esoteric works like the Hermit in tarot.

I need that alone time to do that because it helps me to "download", then "re-load" again so that I could help the beginner tarot readers that I am currently mentoring who are going through their own individual challenges within their journey as new tarot readers.

So yesterday, a fellow tarot-reading friend did a spread on my behalf and assured me that all I needed to do was to learn to let go of the past and embrace what the universe has put before me. In her words " I'm getting the three of water which speaks of abundance and letting go of the past to embrace new joys and adventures...". That spoke to me. I needed to tread my present life with a measure of temperance and embrace my gifts and accompanying new life with total acceptance and empathy after leaving the guilt, disappointments, egotism and other negative aspects of my past behind.

As I meditated upon this, I picked a card, the King of Swords and heard the king talk to me through my meditation. He assured me that my job skills and my tarot reading and numerological skills that I have will always be used for the greater good at work, at home or with my clients. They do not change who I am as a person apart from to make me better, more resilient, more accepting of others and more empathetic. He wanted me to balance my heart with my head in everything I did with these skills, and govern all that I did with reason, forethought and logic.
He said that courage, good judgement and open and honest communication will help me lead the way, open doors and bring a measure of order in the midst of my emotional and mental chaos. The King of Swords was teaching me to balance my heart and mind. I have always struggled with his due to my ego and my fears.

Then, as if the universe was talking to me, Facebook pinged me with a notification that a new Tarot Bloghop topic was just posted by a fellow tarot blogger. This time, the topic was about Mabon, which is the pagan celebration of the Autumn Equinox. Mabon is all about balance and transformation. I thought the universe and my fellow tarot blogger, wrangling that Tarot Bloghop topic were actually quite brilliant. It was definitely timely for me to plan the points to my next Tarot Bloghop topic, particularly as I am going through a period of transformation myself.

I can't wait to see what my pen dreams up for the next blog entry about Mabon.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and was recently certified as a numerologist in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also endorsed as a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.

She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com

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