Walk Away From A Reversed King

Have You Dated A Jerk In Your Younger Days?

I have.  Plenty of my ex-boyfriends were jerks.  When it comes to romance, I think I have got quite a lot of experience, having been twice married, dated several “imbecilic knobs” and got the t-shirt to show for it.  Many years after and honed by maturity, I thank the universe for presenting me with the world’s best husband who helped me believe in romance again.

So with memories of my past relationships still at the back of my head, ready for me to recount when it’s Joel’s turn to meet his special someone, some day (I told him “women are “money grubbing pigs, please stay with me till you’re 59 years old!”), I have decided to use the Reversed Kings in my Radiant Rider Waite Tarot deck to describe some of the men in my life – Lucky escape for me, I thought.

King of Cups Reversed

The image on the King of Cups card depicts a King sitting on a throne amidst a turbulent sea.  He is a picture of calm and control.  On his right, a fish jumps out of the water and on his neck he wears a pendant in the shape of a fish.  The fish is symbolic of his higher consciousness with which he is attuned to.  When picked upright, the card is a manifestation of one who is emotionally in control, highly intuitive, and has a kind and compassionate character. 

However, the bloke I dated back in Year 1 of my university days, by the name of YL, is completely the opposite.  YL was a moody, sulky and silent type.  He reminded me of a male version of Kirsten Stewart from Twilight, and often brandished a broody look not unlike what you see on a poster advertising a branded aftershave.  I think I fell for him because I thought he was the strong and silent type and contrasted markedly to my vibrant, child-like and bubbly personality. YL did not have many friends and came from a very traditional Asian family.  His Dad was a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner and one day YL was supposed to take over his Dad’s little traditional Chinese medicine shop.  As an eldest boy, the weight of the family’s business was on his shoulders.  YL often struggled between that filial Chinese son and the man he really wanted to be.  He wanted to be an artist – a profession his dad thought was useless and couldn’t make enough income to sustain a respectable lifestyle. 

I think part of YL’s mood swings was due to his unhappiness at being repressed at home.  What’s funny though, is he expected me to be similarly repressed.  He didn’t like my gregarious nature.  When I laughed loudly, or giggled uncontrollably, he would bellow, “Behave yourself.”  I was often treated like a child when he would just walk away from me in a huff in a public place like the university library, just because he didn’t like me smiling at another bloke, or talking to my friends.  In fact, he hated my friends.  In the few months that we dated, we never socialized with my friends because he thought “they were a bad influence”.  Come to think of it, he didn’t have friends either. 

One day, while we were studying at the library, YL had a tiff with me about how short my skirt was and was about to walk out on me for the umpteenth time.  So I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “No, you sit.  It’s my turn to walk away.”  And I never looked back since.

King of Pentacles Reversed

The image on the King of Pentacles card depicts a King sitting on a throne carved with bulls, a symbol of hard work and he brandished a scepter in his right hand, a symbol of power and a coin in his left hand, a symbol of wealth.  His robe is covered with fruits, flowers and leaves and laid at his feet are also fruits, flowers and leaves, all are symbols of abundance and prosperity.  This King in reversed would be a manifestation of one who is obsessive about material things in life. 

My King of Pentacles Reversed, is a manifestation of the character of an ex-boyfriend HY.  HY is a very hardworking man, but that’s the problem.  He knows only work, talks about work, met me at a work function and only socializes when work is concerned.  He was the CEO of a mutual funds company which meant he was well-to-do and enjoyed the good things in life.  We went to the best restaurants and I had the best prezzies.  However, he wouldn’t be seen dead beside me if I wore no makeup and wasn’t dressed in one of the designer frocks he bought me. 

His circle of friends were all CEOs, MDs, and Chairmen of companies. I was so bored whenever these friends came around to his home for a drink and was even more bored when we went out to the restaurants for expensive dinners.  Perhaps I wasn’t as clever and couldn’t hold intelligent conversations about the fluctuating price of commodities and the wisdom of investing in BRIC markets.  I was only a heart-lander lass hoping to find true love. I enjoyed walking around in flip flop and eating at public food centres.  His idea of a meal was at a 3-star Michelin restaurant. 

HY was obsessed about money.  In his mind, his only objective in life was to make more money. He told me that the reason he worked so hard, was to ensure he led a comfortable life.  I didn’t see that comfortable life because he didn’t have weekends. I on the other hand, enjoyed picnics at the beach with my little son on weekends, or shopping with my girlfriends on weekends, or going for a nice cup of tea and a scone at the latest coffee shop with my friends on weekends.   He thought hanging out with my friends were a waste of time because they lent nothing valuable to him. 
Our relationship ended when he told me openly that he was embarrassed when I drove that 30 year old hand-me-down mercedez benz to his home on weekends in full view of his neighbors.  I wasn’t sure if he was ashamed of me, or of my beaten up car.  So I was glad to wave goodbye as I drove my beloved merc away from his house.

King of Wands Reversed

The image on the King of Wands card depicts a King sitting on a throne brandishing a rod with leaves growing from it which represents him nurturing life and encouraging creativity. He wears a bright orange robe and on the ground is a salamander looking up at him, all of which are symbols of fire.  This King represents passion, will and enthusiasm.  He is the King that will take creativity to new heights and has the drive to turn everything he does into a success.  However, in the reversed, this King represents one who makes impulsive decisions, and is highly aggressive and overbearing.

This is representative of my ex-boyfriend MD.  MD owns a vineyard in the little Australian town of Mildura. He is quite short for a guy, and I often think that part of his aggressiveness was due to what I termed as a “small dick syndrome”.  He was a businessman and thought of himself as Donald Trump because of the vast hectares of land that he owned.  Frankly in a little town of Mildura which possibly is home to 2000 and your Mildurian Mum is your sister, is your cousin, is your Aunt, and they make a living playing the banjo in a tree, this Donald Trump want-to-be was nothing more than a small-time grape farmer.   The reason I am unfairly scathing here, and I apologize to friends who are from Mildura or who know people from Mildura, is that of all the boyfriends who had hurt me, MD had hurt me the most.

I met MD through an Australian trade event here in Singapore that was aimed at fostering Australia-Singapore trade ties.  We fell madly in love, and that whirlwind romance led to MD setting up a little business for me here in Singapore, dealing with Australian desert art.  I was big on charity then, and I had my mind set on doing a business that pays it forward to an Australian aboriginal tribe who created the art pieces.  However, he wanted me to make loads of money from it, and kept badgering me about setting up meetings with other companies and private homeowners to sell commissioned art pieces.

MD was a bully.  He dominated me and treated me more like his staff than a girlfriend.  When my son was very little, and was crying for attention while we were both watching TV, MD said, “Give the boy a fag to shut him up.” I was really upset with that.  Our relationship ended shortly after, and the art business went along with it.  He went home to Mildura to be with his banjo-playing folks.   Then just about 6 months later, MD phoned me to say, ” I got a Polish girl named Paulana pregnant and am marrying her next week. I just wanted you to know that.” I thought for a moment, that intelligent businessman I once knew must have died.  He had just hastily rushed into one relationship after acrimoniously splitting with me and worse, made a grave decision to marry a woman he hardly knew!  I was quite hurt, but nonetheless relieved that I got rid of that stupid bugger.

King of Swords Reversed

The image on the King of Swords card depict a King sitting on a throne brandishing an upward pointing sword.  He is in command and makes sure everyone knows it.  Behind him emblazoned on his throne are butterfly motifs, a symbol of transformation and above him, the skies are clear, a symbol of mental clarity. In the reversed, this King represents one who is brutal, cunning, and cutting with his words, abusive and tyrannical.

My reversed King of Swords was one of my ex-bosses.  No I didn’t date him. I didn’t have a boyfriend that was like the King of Swords Reversed, thank goodness.  If I had dated anyone like this jerk, I would have run him over with my car twice.  I tried to find someone in my mind that took on the character traits of the reversed King of Swords, and the only person I could think of that fitted the description was EK, an ex-boss from the bank that I worked in. 

When I was working at that company, EK had originally hired me for a regional role in that company that covered 5 countries.  On my first day at the job, he told me that he had carved the role into 2 and given me charge of Singapore and Thailand only.  I was unhappy, but had decided to just roll with the punches.  Over the next 2 years, EK had often singled me out for anything that went wrong.  He would ply me with hurtful accusations like “you were not strategic enough as a marketeer”, “you did not think of this idea earlier”, “you are not good with numbers, what use are you?”, and “you are not cut out to be a marketeer”.  Now, EK is a salesman at best, while I was a technically trained marketeer with more than 10 years of experience then.  His words had begun to cut into me, destroying my confidence completely and made me return home from work every day feeling like I was truly useless.  He would manipulate the rest of the staff in the department to ostracize me and would publicly rebuke me with offensive phrases in the Chinese dialect of Hokkien.  To translate, he said to me “If you can’t swim, please don’t blame it on the size and weight of your balls.”  I was totally offended by that comment.  Having worked in blue chip MNCs that prided themselves for treating employees respectfully, this was a complete culture shock for me.

Needless to say, I left that company within 2 years and went on to join another company that knew how to treat their staff with respect.  The wounds of those 2 years working with EK still sits deeply in my heart but I have turned those wounds around to be my tool of learning.  I have learnt to be the best boss, mentor and friend to my team members in my present company.

Walk Away When A Reversed King Crosses Your Path

At this stage of my life, thankfully, I haven’t come across a reversed King.  I believe that I am mature enough to be able to manage a reversed King and if all else fails, I would just swing my handbag at the jerk that takes on the character traits of any of the reversed King.

So if you’re a new tarot reader or a client had encountered a reversed King in your tarot spread, don’t panic.  Just ask this one simple question “Is this person worth investing my energy and resources in?”  If the answer is no, please walk away.

About the writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She obtained a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She currently runs a Tarot consultancy called Sun Goddess Tarot based in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.

She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com

Which Queen Are You?

I Do Like The Court Cards

As a professional Tarot reader, I often get excited when I see a court card in a Tarot spread.  Whether it’s a Page, a Knight, a Queen or a King, regardless of suits, they lend so much depth to my querant’s situations by offering me insights about the personalities and attitudes of the querants, or the other people involved in the querants’ lives and their approach to their respective situations. 

I just returned from a wonderful 5-day vacation in Bangkok.  Well, it was wonderful for me but I’m not sure if it was the same for the family members who traveled with me because I was a completely intolerable bitch fussing over every detail and stressing over any unexpected change in plans.  The reversed Queen of Swords herself reigned in me that week.

So in this blog post, I would like to share my perspective about the Queens in Tarot by paying tribute to 4 key women who influenced my life positively.

Queen of Swords

I’ll start with her shall I?  .The Queen of Swords is a seasoned lass.  She’s got so much experience borne from her days of maneuvering times of gale force winds alternating with the gentle breeze.  A Queen that’s associated with the element of Air, she’s the mother of intellect, deep thought, wit, guile and communication. You can never fool her, because she’ll smell bullshit from a mile away.  She’s way too smart, way too savvy, extremely disciplined and if you annoy the hell out of her, she’s going to have you for breakfast.

This Queen is a manifestation of my Mom.  Mom’s sharp as a knife and she’s been through a lot to be able to take a lot of things in her stride.  However if you cross her path, she’ll make sure you’d never forget it.  Mum had been through tough times when Dad got incarcerated for having a different point of view from the establishment.  They weren’t that kind to alternative political viewpoints at that time, labeling Dad as a political dissident. However, Mom had balls made of brass.  She marched into Dad’s boss’ office weeks after his incarceration and demanded that his boss continues to pay Dad his salary in spite of Dad’s detention, so that the family could survive.  He conceded.

Queen of Pentacles

The Queen of Pentacles is the quintessential Earth Mother, rendering love and support to the people closest to her.  She’s got the ability to balance her family life, nurturing and taking care of them whilst financially providing for them.  Governed by the element of Earth, this Queen is so well-grounded, that she makes practical decisions in the interest of everyone around her.  She’s also independent in her outlook and is not afraid to tread life’s journey on her own.

This Queen is a manifestation of my ex-boss and close friend L. She was a positive influence in my life and a role model for me.  As a mentor, she was responsible totally for my career success.  I became a good marketer because she taught me how to be one.  But more importantly, she taught me to be the better person always during trying times.  She held my hand through that winding path as I managed a divorce, single motherhood and a remarriage.  At my second wedding, she was the one who walked me up the aisle.  It wasn’t Mom and Dad because as staunch Roman Catholics, they had initial misgivings about my divorce and remarriage.  It was L who was my best friend, mother, sister, mentor, boss all rolled into one. 

I saw L as a fantastic boss when she could rally a huge team of marketers under her to deliver the best results for the company.  Our team at that time, enjoyed a great deal of camaraderie and close friendships.  Because of L’s positive influence, today I have a team of great marketers under me, I affectionately call the A-Team.  They too enjoy a close and familial camaraderie envied by many other team members within this company. 

Like L, I am not done learning yet.  While she had gone on to attain a doctorate in the field and is happily teaching students who were once like myself,  I had gone on to pick up a skill of a different kind – Tarot reading and numerology which helped me serve my purpose of bringing light, comfort and assurance to the clients who come to me.  I could never thank the universe enough every day, for the light L brought to me.

Queen of Wands

My favorite Queen.  This woman has unleashed her inner Goddess and is filled with exuberance, warmth and energy that even I can’t keep up with her.  She leads such an active life, and welds her career with an iron hand, innate in a natural-born leader. She has a creative soul, always full of ideas and will waste no time sharing it with you quite openly.  I’d like to think that I am this Queen but because I am a bit of an overbearing cow at times, people around me often tell me to “get back in my box”.  Governed by the element of fire, this Queen is a ball of passion and enthusiasm.  She will get things done, and done in her way as well.  So watch out.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success.  When you do a thing, do it with your might, Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality.”  The Queen of Wands personifies this statement and is a manifestation of one of my favorite personalities Oprah Winfrey.  As a talk show host (I love her shows), producer, writer, publisher and philanthropist, she epitomizes strength, will and passion.  She grew up in an impoverished home, daughter of a teenage single mom but made it right to the top as one of the few black billionaire women.  From her, I learnt that nothing is impossible when you set your mind to it and conquer it with passion.  Her website www.oprah.com has become a fabulous source of information and inspiration for me.

Oprah, in fact, coined this phrase which I have taken to be the mantra of the Queen of Wands, “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”

Queen of Cups

How many of you actually balance your head and your heart when you make critical decisions? This Queen does.  Governed by the element of Water, she has so much emotional maturity, warmth and sensitivity.  She is carried by the tide of a caring and compassionate disposition.  Anyone in her midst who need help and comfort will flock to her instantly to seek solace, like a port in a storm.

I tried very hard to find someone in my life that actually has the qualities of this Queen.  I’d like to think my Mom is one but really, I think there are times; I am calmer than she is and I have more composure than she does. So at this point, I am going to reveal a little secret of mine.

I had a privileged childhood.  I was never in want of anything and was the apple of Dad’s and Mum’s eyes until 11 years later, my brother came into this world to turn mine upside down. As a spoilt only daughter who had to share her world with a snotty boy,  I then grew up as a difficult and rebellious teenager because everything that I had, Jerome had twice more.  He was a sickly boy, and suffered from fits quite frequently, so Dad and Mom legitimized their incessant pampering of Jerome with this reason.  And where was my “port in the storm”?  I found solace in the Mother Superior, Sister Catherine, at the Convent of Our Little Sisters of the Poor.

Our Little Sisters of the Poor was an order of Roman Catholic nuns who specialized in elderly care.  They ran a home and a hospice for the aged years ago at Thomson Road in Singapore.  I was introduced to the order by my childhood friend G and spent all my weekends at the home assisting the nuns with the elderly patients. I fed them, washed them, changed them, talked to them, prayed with them.  My favorite moments were spent with Sister Catherine in the serenely beautiful and lush gardens of the convent grounds.  There, she recounted  her childhood stories and spoke to us about God and how she chose her vocation to help the elderly through their twilight years in a bid to make it as less painful as possible.  I was mesmerized by these stories and I wanted to become like her.  I wanted to be a nun.

Out of the 7-8 girls in our group that volunteered actively at the hospice, I only remembered 1 girl that had finally donned the habit of a novice.  I was so filled with envy but as I grew older, I realized that my efforts at the hospice and my time spent with Sister Catherine, was my way of escaping the harsh realities of growing up pains.

I woke up at the moment when I had to make a choice to go on to university to complete my studies.  Sister Catherine knew when to say goodbye.  To her, it didn’t matter whether or not I chose that vocation to be a nun.  What mattered to her was that she had been my guiding light in my teenage years and was critical in helping me develop my own emotional maturity and intellect to discern right from wrong, good from bad.  Through that gift of emotional maturity, I discovered choice, and more importantly, I discovered the importance of taking responsibility for my own choices.  I chose to leave Our Little Sisters of the Poor to find my life somewhere else and perhaps, one day, become the “port in a storm” for other people.

Don’t Be Afraid Of A Court Card

The protégés whom I mentor often tell me that their biggest fear in reading Tarot cards is having to interpret a Court Card.  However, do you see now, why I absolutely love the Court Cards in Tarot?  It’s not difficult to interpret them.    I like to attach a significant person or influence in my life whenever I pick a court card.  I do see the Court Cards as Tarot’s way of advising me to adopt the positive energy of that specific Court Card when I make important decisions.

When I pick the same for a client, I tend to have a deeper discussion with him/her about the people who have an influence on his/her situation.  Quite often, the Court Card picked might be a manifestation of my client too.

So, do share your perspective with me.  Which Queen do you most associate with?

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and was recently certified as a numerologist in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.

She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com