Living A Life Filled With Love And Positivity

Living A Life Filled With Love And Positivity

A few days ago, a friend sent me a lovely note on my Facebook wall.  She posted a picture of an old couple walking hand in hand, and said, “I immediately thought of you when I saw this picture. You, David, Joel, your dog, your stories about your Mum, your Nan, your Dad and your fabulous team at work…I always love reading your Facebook post and blog.   I wish to live a life filled with love like yours.”

It was such a sweet note that brought tears to my eyes.  Indeed, it was a stage I never thought I could get to, considering that I had walked a rather rocky past tainted by divorce, single motherhood, being cut-off from my parents and the struggle to find myself.  I went through a period of healing after, which affirmed my belief that the Universe will never throw a challenge at you without providing you with the means to deal with it.  

This was the classic manifestation of the 5 of Cups card in Tarot.  When the 3 cups got knocked over, I found the 2 upstanding cups.  One came in the form of my best friend who helped me believe in the institution of marriage again – so I got remarried, to him.   The other came in the form of my answering the call of my higher consciousness to provide support and comfort to other women who had to survive divorce and single motherhood all on their own.  I did not realize that when I put in that effort to a divorcees support group that I had set up, I was actually sowing the seeds of my work as a lightworker.

So, in response to my friend’s note, I sent her a message taken from a quote by Ben Sweetland.  It said, “We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.”  The day I had decided to turn professional as a Tarot reader, I had decided to embrace life with positivity and live  in joy and gratitude everyday for every blessing around me no matter how big or small.

Here was how I took control.  The only person that I allowed myself to do battle with, is myself.. The only choices impacting me, could only be made by myself.  The outcomes I wanted to effect in my life, could only be influenced by myself.

Ultimately, I was in control.  And I was determined to remain in control of my life.

Taking Control Of The Devil Then

I would like to explain the concept of Control with the Devil card in Tarot.  Unpleasant to some, it was the card which provided positive advice for me. 

The Devil card in my Radiant Rider Waite deck created by Virginijus Poshkus and published by US Games, portrayed an image of a half-man- half-goat creature sitting behind 2 human figures who are shackled to each other by chains.  The chains however are loosely fastened and their hands are not tied, suggesting that they are chained to each other out of their own free will. They are not even chained to the Devil himself! They seemed crippled in inertia for fear of him.

My life was previously reflected in this card, the Devil.  He was the scapegoat I blamed for all the negative moments in my life.  This scapegoat was represented by what I felt were the causes of my distress then – the negativity within my previous marriage, the breakdown in communication with my parents immediately after the divorce, the friends who chose to be on the side of my ex-husband, and the nature of the corporate environment which had shaped my very hard exterior as a corporate careerist. 

These restrictions had generally existed because I chose then, to let them rule my life and shape my perceptions of my future.   I was holding onto these chains of negativity that imprisoned me for years, leaving me to look down at my feet as I walked along the path, whilst missing the embrace of the Sunshine above me.

I started working on myself when I saw what I was missing around me – my son who was growing up and needed me, my husband who loved me and needed me to love him back, and my parents who just wanted to protect me but did not know how.  Then when I saw a group of women who were going through the same negativity I did because of their respective divorces, I had decided to take control then, and promptly removed the bonds of negativity tightly clasped around my neck.

Taking Control Of The Devil Now

Today I am happily married, the family is very close-knitted and my relationship with my parents is better than ever.  While the days of negativity are behind me, I am managing a different kind of “devil”.  I think the Devil card most apt in describing this would be the one in the Book of Shadows Volume 2 - So Below Tarot Deck by Barbara Moore.

The Devil is portrayed by an image of a delicious Sundae. I could not help but laugh out loud at this wonderful card because it really was a manifestation of me at this moment.

The Devil card represented all kinds of harmful bonds like temptations.  It was an accurate depiction of how I had been using my extremely busy schedules and multiple commitments as excuses to lead a sedentary life of poor diet, and almost lack of exercise.  I was constantly stressed at work, and viewed everything around me with negativity.  I blamed the workload for my poor health.  I blamed the family for their lack of understanding about why I was not spending more time with them.  I blamed people around me for creating the pressures of deadlines and last minute demands.

 My Judgement card moment came about when I was hit with repeated health issues which culminated in an angiogram done 2 months ago.  That was when the doctor said, “Shape up or else.”  

So I promptly took control.  I revamped my entire lifestyle with a balanced diet and some exercise with my personal trainer. I also knew when to take a break, so when the juggling of these multiple projects seemed all too much for me, I would step back for a bit to give myself a breather.  I have also made it a point to get home before sundown when possible. This allowed me to spend more time with my family and the dogs.  This new lifestyle reshaped my outlook in life into a more positive one.  I had more energy, and I definitely had more fun.

I went for my medical review with the cardiologist this morning and I was so pleased when he said that I had made marked improvements with my health.  The medical report indicated numbers that had put me within acceptable range in the respective field.  He promptly halfed my dosage of hypertension drugs and told me that he had a goal to remove them totally by mid next year if I continued to show improvements in my health. I was so pleased.

Staying Positive

I was also determined to set an example with what I was doing with my life health-wise.  I wanted to prove that being fit and healthy, positive and happy were not just concepts owned by fitness freaks, dieticians, health gurus, yoga practitioners, healers.  I wanted to prove that anyone, in whatever shape, form, or background can be fit, healthy, positive and happy.  

That is why I am really proud of being part of the team that launched Singapore's first science-backed wellness program called AIA Vitality that is committed to making real changes to Singaporeans' health with every little healthy choice that they make.  Do check the program out at www.aiavitality.com.sg.

You see, there is no secret formula to staying positive and filling your life full of love, if you believe with conviction that you need to be so, to bring some semblance of positivity into other people’s lives too.

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She currently runs her own Tarot consultancy called Sun Goddess Tarot which is based in Singapore.  A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also endorsed as a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.   She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com

The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread

Creating An Advice-Centric Tarot Spread For Relationship Issues

Ok, let’s get this right.  I really am not the “Doctor of Love”.  Far from it in fact.  However, I keep getting asked to do Tarot readings for relationship issues and I have been customizing Tarot spreads to these issues so often that amongst the lot, there’s one I particularly liked which I would like to share. 

This Tarot spread is quite clean, and most importantly it doesn’t just consider one person’s view on the issue, but explores both party’s perspectives on it so as to constructively find ways to resolve these issues. It sets rules of engagement between couples, so that they could operate within a framework that allows them to have a safe space to communicate and take their relationship forward. So here’s an example of the Tarot spread used in response to a client, Vivian’s question on “Should we continue with this relationship?”  I have changed my client’s name within this blog post to protect her privacy.  For this reading, I had used the Morgan Greer Tarot deck.

 The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread

1. What’s the state of their relationship now (3-card spread)?
2. What is she thinking about the relationship?
3. What does she ultimately want out of the relationship?
4. What is he thinking about the relationship?
5. What does he ultimately want out of the relationship?
6. What is the outcome of the relationship?
7. What is the advice from the cards to move forward with the relationship (3-card spread)?

The Spread In Practice

1) What is the state of their relationship now? – Justice + 3 of Swords Reversed + Queen of Cups Reversed

For this particular question, I did a 3-card spread to establish the state of their relationship, the influences impacting it and their current emotions surrounding it.   This was like a mini spread within the spread, so I read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to create a vision of the couple within my mind.  The spread indicated to me that an incident causing hurt and disappointment had occurred in the immediate past but the couple is having problems dealing with it in the present as they weren’t able to get past that disappointment perhaps because they haven’t communicated enough about it.  Vivian was in fact the one who had been repressing her feelings quite a bit because she was at a lost as to what to do and was worried that should she voice out her anger and bitterness, it might hasten the split between the couple.  By repressing her emotions and dealing with the hurt all alone, she had gradually sunk deeper into a spiral of emotional mood swings and prolonged depression.   This was made worse by that internal struggle within herself with the decision of whether to leave him or to stay and work at the relationship.  She had sought legal advice to ascertain her options should she decide to file for a divorce but because they have been married for the last 9 years, Vivian had been dithering on this option, and instead continued to try to manage her issues alone and allowing the hurt to fester within her.

2) What is Vivian thinking about the relationship now? – 4 of Cups

The 4 of Cups is a reflection of Vivian’s desire to have more time on her own now.  She thought that some time apart may do the couple some good.  ”I think we need to give each other space”, she said. As she is an author by profession, she was toying with the idea of scheduling her book tour at that time which allowed her the excuse of travelling on her own without her husband.  She was also thinking of a trial separation which may allow her time to figure out what to do next.

3) What does Vivian ultimately want out of the relationship? – 10 of Cups

Vivian really wanted that quintessential young girl’s dream of a happy home, a blissful family life filled with plenty of laughter and love.  She wanted a long-lasting relationship with her husband, and it had to be a relationship that could provide her with security, fulfillment and a sense of deep connectivity borne from trust and open communication.

4) What is he thinking about the relationship – 7 of Wands Reversed

Vivian’s husband had been feeling increasingly isolated from Vivian and the marriage.  As the communication between them had broken down almost irretrievably, he was almost on the brink of giving up.  He also felt that she was always pointing an accusatory finger at him for the cause of the break-up and began to think that they were both almost on the point of no return with regard to the break-up.  The pressure of the decision to reconcile or to formally file for a divorce seemed to be unfairly put on his shoulders.  His late nights had become even more frequent thus driving Vivian even further away. She started letting her imagination get carried away, often accusing him of continuing his affair.  (You would remember the Queen of Cups reversed picked up earlier to the question on the state of the relationship currently.  This card was a manifestation of her letting her imagination run wild because of her husband’s late nights.)

5)    What does he ultimately want out of the relationship? – Ace of Cups

Vivian’s husband was hoping for a chance to start afresh and create a new beginning of emotional connection at another level with her.  He wanted to constructively express and convey his emotions and perhaps create a safe place to express those raw emotions sitting underneath.  While she was blocking him emotionally and tuning him out, he was desperately trying to reach out to her but didn’t know how to do so.  He wanted more than reconciliation.  He wanted to write a new chapter in their marriage, make up for past mistakes and re-chart a new direction towards a more meaningful relationship with Vivian.

6) What is the outcome of their relationship? – King of Pentacles

The outcome is really positive.  The King of Pentacles assured me that both Vivian and her husband will be working slowly and steadily towards building a beautiful relationship and home life based on long term commitment.  In spite of all the negative thoughts about divorce, separation, and affairs, eventually, they will take a practical view to constructively making their marriage even stronger.  They might even decide after recovering from this period to start a family because they haven’t any kids.  The King of Pentacles promised that they will be working their way to even more connectedness. Whatever had happened only is going to make them stronger and closer.

7) What is the advice of the cards to move forward with their relationship? – 6 of Swords + 9 of Wands + King of Cups

Just as I had created a 3-card spread within this spread to establish the current state of Vivian’s relationship with her husband, I had decided to do the same to close this spread with an advice.  I also read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to provide her with a more meaningful and constructive advice.

The 3 cards: 6 of Swords, 9 of Wands and King of Cups advised Vivian and her husband to be prepared to put all the bitterness, anger and hurt behind them and move forward with a view to creating a stronger bond and brighter future together.  While they are carrying the scars from that unpleasant episode in their lives, they need to learn to trust each other again, while at the same time giving each other room to heal.  Marriage is never easy as its success depends on both parties having a certain amount of emotional maturity and a genuine sense of responsibility for their individual actions.  They need to learn to manage issues with calm and composure, and treat each other with love, compassion, and sensitivity. 

The King of Cups will never give up that easily.  Instead, he draws a lot of strength and wisdom from his intuition to work at things he believes in.  So Vivian and her husband have to harness the energy of the King, to give each other a chance and work at the relationship to make it even stronger.

When It’s Meant To Be, Work At It

Amongst the cards within the spread, 5 out of 11 cards, that is, the majority, are Cups. This tells me the entire issue between them are emotionally -charged and will require a lot of open communication to deal with. The Ace and 10 of Cups underpinning their relationship goals really were an affirmation for me that this relationship, with time will get even better. All they need is time and space for emotional healing to start with. This story of Vivian and her husband is definitely not over yet.  It’s in fact, just the beginning of a very long journey for them.  However, I went away happy after that Tarot reading appointment, because the cards were able to help provide the right advice which could not only turn their marriage around but make it even stronger. 

I feel so blessed.

About The Writer:The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.   She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com