My Six Of Cups Moment

Mum And Dad's 45th Wedding Anniversary

Mum and Dad will celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary tomorrow.  Mum originally had a big party planned but cancelled it last week when Dad suffered a stroke and was hospitalized.  With Dad making a recovery more quickly than we had imagined, he was discharged earlier than expected and Mum had decided to cook a big feast to celebrate their wedding anniversary instead for just close family members.  I love going home to Mum and Dad's for a big meal. I always enjoyed getting pampered by them.  Even in my 40s they still think I am 14!

Happy Memories 

Over the last week, Dad and I shared  fond memories of the past when we regaled his antics as a political detainee incarcerated for off-center political views.  I used these memories to help him to cope with his dementia.  I questioned him about things we ate, places we went and names of his old friends just to "exercise" his memory.  The great bit was that these memories made Dad laugh a lot. This had probably helped with his recovery.

I too had fond memories over the last week of my younger days when Dad and Mum used to take me everywhere they went.  These memories helped me cope with my depression over Dad's stroke, his hospitalization and the uncertainty of when he might get discharged.   I remembered that we travelled to many places, went on culinary adventures all over Singapore in the middle of the night, went to dinner parties with Dad and his friends where we talked politics.  Even at the age of 4 or 5, his friends would sit up in surprise when I could talk about Marx, Engels and Lenin, and hum to the tune of The International.

Dad's hospitalization also taught me to find the child in me. I was trying to hold up my stoic appearance for awhile until I broke down and looked to David to hold my hands through this episode.  We  also found the child in us by encouraging Dad's hilarious antics in the hospital when he pressed the bedside buzzer just to annoy the nurses.  With the stress, we needed that laughter.

6 Of Cups In Tarot 

With these fond memories and as I enjoyed the familial environment afforded by the Yuletide season,  I meditated over the 6 of Cups card.  The 6 of Cups card helped me connect with happy memories of the past to cope with the stress of the present.  I also drew lessons from the past to help guide me to make choices for the future.  Below are some of my favourite 6 of cups Tarot cards that I had picked amongst my decks.

6 In Numerology

6 in numerology, is a symbol of domesticity and familial matters.  It promises lots of love, care and nurturing support from one influenced by the 6 energy.   6 also represents harmony, unconditional giving and generous support.  It was written in the bible that God created everything in 6 days and rested on the 7th day.  The Jewish holiday of Shavuot starts in the 6th day of the Hebrew month of Sivan.  There are 6 points to the Star of David.  And my rocker-want-to-be husband David, who happened to be the Master of useless information told me that #6 is the pseudonym for Shawn Crahan when he played with the band Slipknot!

VI - The Lovers Tarot Card

6 is also the number of the Lovers Tarot card.  The card represents not only love, union and partnerships but also personal choices.   The card is ruled by the planet Venus.  The Goddess of Love, Venus presides over relationships, marriage, union, harmony.   It is a number appropriate to mull on, particular during my parents' wedding anniversary.  The Lovers card also represents personal choices, and the balance between  values, principles, and ideals.  The card urges one to stay true to personal beliefs and reassess one's goals when confronted with having to make hard value choices.  You see, when I had to manage a difficult week coping with Dad's hospitalization and Mum's depression, I had to make that personal choice to drop everything to focus on the family.   Even when I had so many issues at work and my Tarot clients were calling me during this very busy month for readings to help them prepare for what was to come in the new year, I had to just drop everything to focus on Dad and Mum.  The family came first. They were my responsibility.  Nothing else mattered.  As J.K. Rowling said, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Do enjoy meditating on the 6 of Cups Tarot card. In the words of Charlotte Davis Kasl, "Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood."

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She is currently running a Tarot consultancy based in Singapore called Sun Goddess Tarot,  which provides confidential intuitive readings combining the metaphysical disciplines of Tarot, Numerology and Astrology via face to face and emails as well as readings at corporate and private events and workshops.  A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and mentors Tarot protégés on behalf of the American Tarot Association

Website: www.sungoddesstarot.com
Email:  Joanna@sungoddesstarot.com
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6 of Cups from the Morgan Greer Tarot deck created by Bill Greer and Lloyd Morgan

6 of Cups from the Gilded Tarot deck by Ciro Marchetti

6 of Cups from the Book of Shadows Vol. 2 - So Below Tarot deck by Barbara Moore

6 of Cups from the Wizards Tarot deck by Corrine Kenner

The Lovers from the Rider-Waite Tarot deck published by US Games System Inc

6 of Cups from the Aquarian Tarot deck by David Palladini

The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread

Creating An Advice-Centric Tarot Spread For Relationship Issues

Ok, let’s get this right.  I really am not the “Doctor of Love”.  Far from it in fact.  However, I keep getting asked to do Tarot readings for relationship issues and I have been customizing Tarot spreads to these issues so often that amongst the lot, there’s one I particularly liked which I would like to share. 

This Tarot spread is quite clean, and most importantly it doesn’t just consider one person’s view on the issue, but explores both party’s perspectives on it so as to constructively find ways to resolve these issues. It sets rules of engagement between couples, so that they could operate within a framework that allows them to have a safe space to communicate and take their relationship forward. So here’s an example of the Tarot spread used in response to a client, Vivian’s question on “Should we continue with this relationship?”  I have changed my client’s name within this blog post to protect her privacy.  For this reading, I had used the Morgan Greer Tarot deck.

 The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread

1. What’s the state of their relationship now (3-card spread)?
2. What is she thinking about the relationship?
3. What does she ultimately want out of the relationship?
4. What is he thinking about the relationship?
5. What does he ultimately want out of the relationship?
6. What is the outcome of the relationship?
7. What is the advice from the cards to move forward with the relationship (3-card spread)?

The Spread In Practice

1) What is the state of their relationship now? – Justice + 3 of Swords Reversed + Queen of Cups Reversed

For this particular question, I did a 3-card spread to establish the state of their relationship, the influences impacting it and their current emotions surrounding it.   This was like a mini spread within the spread, so I read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to create a vision of the couple within my mind.  The spread indicated to me that an incident causing hurt and disappointment had occurred in the immediate past but the couple is having problems dealing with it in the present as they weren’t able to get past that disappointment perhaps because they haven’t communicated enough about it.  Vivian was in fact the one who had been repressing her feelings quite a bit because she was at a lost as to what to do and was worried that should she voice out her anger and bitterness, it might hasten the split between the couple.  By repressing her emotions and dealing with the hurt all alone, she had gradually sunk deeper into a spiral of emotional mood swings and prolonged depression.   This was made worse by that internal struggle within herself with the decision of whether to leave him or to stay and work at the relationship.  She had sought legal advice to ascertain her options should she decide to file for a divorce but because they have been married for the last 9 years, Vivian had been dithering on this option, and instead continued to try to manage her issues alone and allowing the hurt to fester within her.

2) What is Vivian thinking about the relationship now? – 4 of Cups

The 4 of Cups is a reflection of Vivian’s desire to have more time on her own now.  She thought that some time apart may do the couple some good.  ”I think we need to give each other space”, she said. As she is an author by profession, she was toying with the idea of scheduling her book tour at that time which allowed her the excuse of travelling on her own without her husband.  She was also thinking of a trial separation which may allow her time to figure out what to do next.

3) What does Vivian ultimately want out of the relationship? – 10 of Cups

Vivian really wanted that quintessential young girl’s dream of a happy home, a blissful family life filled with plenty of laughter and love.  She wanted a long-lasting relationship with her husband, and it had to be a relationship that could provide her with security, fulfillment and a sense of deep connectivity borne from trust and open communication.

4) What is he thinking about the relationship – 7 of Wands Reversed

Vivian’s husband had been feeling increasingly isolated from Vivian and the marriage.  As the communication between them had broken down almost irretrievably, he was almost on the brink of giving up.  He also felt that she was always pointing an accusatory finger at him for the cause of the break-up and began to think that they were both almost on the point of no return with regard to the break-up.  The pressure of the decision to reconcile or to formally file for a divorce seemed to be unfairly put on his shoulders.  His late nights had become even more frequent thus driving Vivian even further away. She started letting her imagination get carried away, often accusing him of continuing his affair.  (You would remember the Queen of Cups reversed picked up earlier to the question on the state of the relationship currently.  This card was a manifestation of her letting her imagination run wild because of her husband’s late nights.)

5)    What does he ultimately want out of the relationship? – Ace of Cups

Vivian’s husband was hoping for a chance to start afresh and create a new beginning of emotional connection at another level with her.  He wanted to constructively express and convey his emotions and perhaps create a safe place to express those raw emotions sitting underneath.  While she was blocking him emotionally and tuning him out, he was desperately trying to reach out to her but didn’t know how to do so.  He wanted more than reconciliation.  He wanted to write a new chapter in their marriage, make up for past mistakes and re-chart a new direction towards a more meaningful relationship with Vivian.

6) What is the outcome of their relationship? – King of Pentacles

The outcome is really positive.  The King of Pentacles assured me that both Vivian and her husband will be working slowly and steadily towards building a beautiful relationship and home life based on long term commitment.  In spite of all the negative thoughts about divorce, separation, and affairs, eventually, they will take a practical view to constructively making their marriage even stronger.  They might even decide after recovering from this period to start a family because they haven’t any kids.  The King of Pentacles promised that they will be working their way to even more connectedness. Whatever had happened only is going to make them stronger and closer.

7) What is the advice of the cards to move forward with their relationship? – 6 of Swords + 9 of Wands + King of Cups

Just as I had created a 3-card spread within this spread to establish the current state of Vivian’s relationship with her husband, I had decided to do the same to close this spread with an advice.  I also read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to provide her with a more meaningful and constructive advice.

The 3 cards: 6 of Swords, 9 of Wands and King of Cups advised Vivian and her husband to be prepared to put all the bitterness, anger and hurt behind them and move forward with a view to creating a stronger bond and brighter future together.  While they are carrying the scars from that unpleasant episode in their lives, they need to learn to trust each other again, while at the same time giving each other room to heal.  Marriage is never easy as its success depends on both parties having a certain amount of emotional maturity and a genuine sense of responsibility for their individual actions.  They need to learn to manage issues with calm and composure, and treat each other with love, compassion, and sensitivity. 

The King of Cups will never give up that easily.  Instead, he draws a lot of strength and wisdom from his intuition to work at things he believes in.  So Vivian and her husband have to harness the energy of the King, to give each other a chance and work at the relationship to make it even stronger.

When It’s Meant To Be, Work At It

Amongst the cards within the spread, 5 out of 11 cards, that is, the majority, are Cups. This tells me the entire issue between them are emotionally -charged and will require a lot of open communication to deal with. The Ace and 10 of Cups underpinning their relationship goals really were an affirmation for me that this relationship, with time will get even better. All they need is time and space for emotional healing to start with. This story of Vivian and her husband is definitely not over yet.  It’s in fact, just the beginning of a very long journey for them.  However, I went away happy after that Tarot reading appointment, because the cards were able to help provide the right advice which could not only turn their marriage around but make it even stronger. 

I feel so blessed.

About The Writer:The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.   She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com