Tuesday 22 January 2013

The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread

Creating An Advice-Centric Tarot Spread For Relationship Issues

Ok, let’s get this right.  I really am not the “Doctor of Love”.  Far from it in fact.  However, I keep getting asked to do Tarot readings for relationship issues and I have been customizing Tarot spreads to these issues so often that amongst the lot, there’s one I particularly liked which I would like to share. 
This Tarot spread is quite clean, and most importantly it doesn’t just consider one person’s view on the issue, but explores both party’s perspectives on it so as to constructively find ways to resolve these issues. It sets rules of engagement between couples, so that they could operate within a framework that allows them to have a safe space to communicate and take their relationship forward. So here’s an example of the Tarot spread used in response to a client, Vivian’s question on “Should we continue with this relationship?”  I have changed my client’s name within this blog post to protect her privacy.  For this reading, I had used the Morgan Greer Tarot deck.
 The Relationship Advice Tarot Spread
  1. What’s the state of their relationship now (3-card spread)?
  2. What is she thinking about the relationship?
  3. What does she ultimately want out of the relationship?
  4. What is he thinking about the relationship?
  5. What does he ultimately want out of the relationship?
  6. What is the outcome of the relationship?
  7. What is the advice from the cards to move forward with the relationship (3-card spread)?

The Spread In Practice

1) What is the state of their relationship now? – Justice + 3 of Swords Reversed + Queen of Cups Reversed
For this particular question, I did a 3-card spread to establish the state of their relationship, the influences impacting it and their current emotions surrounding it.   This was like a mini spread within the spread, so I read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to create a vision of the couple within my mind.  The spread indicated to me that an incident causing hurt and disappointment had occurred in the immediate past but the couple is having problems dealing with it in the present as they weren’t able to get past that disappointment perhaps because they haven’t communicated enough about it.  Vivian was in fact the one who had been repressing her feelings quite a bit because she was at a lost as to what to do and was worried that should she voice out her anger and bitterness, it might hasten the split between the couple.  By repressing her emotions and dealing with the hurt all alone, she had gradually sunk deeper into a spiral of emotional mood swings and prolonged depression.   This was made worse by that internal struggle within herself with the decision of whether to leave him or to stay and work at the relationship.  She had sought legal advice to ascertain her options should she decide to file for a divorce but because they have been married for the last 9 years, Vivian had been dithering on this option, and instead continued to try to manage her issues alone and allowing the hurt to fester within her.

2) What is Vivian thinking about the relationship now? – 4 of Cups
The 4 of Cups is a reflection of Vivian’s desire to have more time on her own now.  She thought that some time apart may do the couple some good.  ”I think we need to give each other space”, she said. As she is an author by profession, she was toying with the idea of scheduling her book tour at that time which allowed her the excuse of travelling on her own without her husband.  She was also thinking of a trial separation which may allow her time to figure out what to do next.

3) What does Vivian ultimately want out of the relationship? – 10 of Cups
Vivian really wanted that quintessential young girl’s dream of a happy home, a blissful family life filled with plenty of laughter and love.  She wanted a long-lasting relationship with her husband, and it had to be a relationship that could provide her with security, fulfillment and a sense of deep connectivity borne from trust and open communication.

4) What is he thinking about the relationship – 7 of Wands Reversed
Vivian’s husband had been feeling increasingly isolated from Vivian and the marriage.  As the communication between them had broken down almost irretrievably, he was almost on the brink of giving up.  He also felt that she was always pointing an accusatory finger at him for the cause of the break-up and began to think that they were both almost on the point of no return with regard to the break-up.  The pressure of the decision to reconcile or to formally file for a divorce seemed to be unfairly put on his shoulders.  His late nights had become even more frequent thus driving Vivian even further away. She started letting her imagination get carried away, often accusing him of continuing his affair.  (You would remember the Queen of Cups reversed picked up earlier to the question on the state of the relationship currently.  This card was a manifestation of her letting her imagination run wild because of her husband’s late nights.)

5)    What does he ultimately want out of the relationship? – Ace of Cups
Vivian’s husband was hoping for a chance to start afresh and create a new beginning of emotional connection at another level with her.  He wanted to constructively express and convey his emotions and perhaps create a safe place to express those raw emotions sitting underneath.  While she was blocking him emotionally and tuning him out, he was desperately trying to reach out to her but didn’t know how to do so.  He wanted more than reconciliation.  He wanted to write a new chapter in their marriage, make up for past mistakes and re-chart a new direction towards a more meaningful relationship with Vivian.

6) What is the outcome of their relationship? – King of Pentacles

The outcome is really positive.  The King of Pentacles assured me that both Vivian and her husband will be working slowly and steadily towards building a beautiful relationship and home life based on long term commitment.  In spite of all the negative thoughts about divorce, separation, and affairs, eventually, they will take a practical view to constructively making their marriage even stronger.  They might even decide after recovering from this period to start a family because they haven’t any kids.  The King of Pentacles promised that they will be working their way to even more connectedness. Whatever had happened only is going to make them stronger and closer.

7) What is the advice of the cards to move forward with their relationship? – 6 of Swords + 9 of Wands + King of Cups
Just as I had created a 3-card spread within this spread to establish the current state of Vivian’s relationship with her husband, I had decided to do the same to close this spread with an advice.  I also read the 3-cards in an integrated manner to provide her with a more meaningful and constructive advice.
The 3 cards: 6 of Swords, 9 of Wands and King of Cups advised Vivian and her husband to be prepared to put all the bitterness, anger and hurt behind them and move forward with a view to creating a stronger bond and brighter future together.  While they are carrying the scars from that unpleasant episode in their lives, they need to learn to trust each other again, while at the same time giving each other room to heal.  Marriage is never easy as its success depends on both parties having a certain amount of emotional maturity and a genuine sense of responsibility for their individual actions.  They need to learn to manage issues with calm and composure, and treat each other with love, compassion, and sensitivity. 
The King of Cups will never give up that easily.  Instead, he draws a lot of strength and wisdom from his intuition to work at things he believes in.  So Vivian and her husband have to harness the energy of the King, to give each other a chance and work at the relationship to make it even stronger.

When It’s Meant To Be, Work At It

Amongst the cards within the spread, 5 out of 11 cards, that is, the majority, are Cups. This tells me the entire issue between them are emotionally -charged and will require a lot of open communication to deal with. The Ace and 10 of Cups underpinning their relationship goals really were an affirmation for me that this relationship, with time will get even better. All they need is time and space for emotional healing to start with. This story of Vivian and her husband is definitely not over yet.  It’s in fact, just the beginning of a very long journey for them.  However, I went away happy after that Tarot reading appointment, because the cards were able to help provide the right advice which could not only turn their marriage around but make it even stronger. 
I feel so blessed.
About The Writer:The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.   She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com


  1. Hi Joana,

    I just read your Biddy Tarot Blog post and checked out your "Advice-Centric Tarot Spread for Relationship Issues Post". The sample Tarot reading with Vivian is very informative and I learned essential points to interpret complex Tarot layouts such as this one. Thumbs up, too, for the two mini-three card spreads you included on the 11-card layout because they helped simplify the process better. The way you ended the sample reading is encouraging because you ended it with an advice, and no less, a positive one, too. I'll keep checking more of your posts. Have a great New Year! :)

    1. Thank you. I do love customizing spreads. I usually do it intuitively depending on the client's question. Do LIKE my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot. I usually notify my Facebook friends when a new post gets published. I also use it as a platform to engage people to get blog ideas.