The Reluctant Empath

To Be Able To Feel So Deeply Is Both A Blessing And A Curse

I have been constantly feeling drained.  This had been happening for years, and I used to think that that was caused by a life of poor diet, insufficient sleep and work stress.  However, several years later, after fixing my health issues with a daily dose of balanced nutrition, some physical activity like yoga, brisk walk or sessions with the personal trainer at the gym, my health was back on the mend but my constant exhaustion seemed to get worse.

I also noticed that my  "gut feeings" got increasingly more sensitive.  I often accurately picked up sentiments, or issues that someone else was facing just after a few minutes of talking to him or her.  I sometimes picked up on a pain or an ailment that a friend living far away might be suffering from just because I thought about her at a particular moment or was communicating wth her via Facebook at that time,  When a friend told me that her uncle had passed away a few months ago, I suddenly felt that I was being choked and could not breathe,  I was told later that her uncle died of breathing complications.  When a client told me that her sister had passed away, I felt a sudden pain at the back of my head and found out later that her sister had died of brain tumor.  More importantly, in circumstances like these, I often felt a cord of bereavement and sadness tied between these friends and their loved ones who had passed on, and it was obvious that they had difficulty letting go.  I went into panic attacks when I felt the fear, anxiety or disappointment that my clients were going through.  These situations were often so intense that I did not need my Tarot cards to tell me more about them.

These, and many other observations I had gleaned about myself over the years became more intense this year and It was through conversations with similarly intuitive friends and  mentors that I found out that I was an Empath.   To read up more about an Empath, do read the article here : http://theknowing1.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/at-a-glance-30-traits-of-an-empath/

It became a curse when I found it difficult to control the negative energies that I took on from others. It drained me considerably when I felt the pain and sufferings of other people.  I felt like a hypochondriac, developing imaginary aches and pains that were not actually there in my body. Or I might feel low and depressed because I saw the anguish of a friend's brother for example, through her eyes although she lived in the US and I lived in Singapore.   I felt her pain of not knowing how to help him, while at the same time I felt her brother's anxiety and anger that he had been going through.  I gleaned all that without her providing me the details and I spent a day nursing a migraine and back pain because of this.

It became a bigger curse as my very close friends and colleagues were aware of my gift of clairvoyance and mediumship, and would diplomatically tell me, "keep it to yourself".  I have even got friends who were uncomfortable about having a nice quiet dinner with me just because they "don't want to know."

However, just as it was a curse, It became a blessing when I realized my empathy helped me understand my clients' life journeys enough for me to help support them along the way.  Being an Empath helped me feel what they felt within their situations and understand them better.  Being a psychic Empath helped me focus on the root cause of their situations and provide them with better advice to deal with them.

 Learning To Be Gentle With Myself

When I realized that I needed to quickly learn to control and manage my intuitive gifts positively, I began a search for answers.  Yesterday, the most important thing I had learnt was encapsulated in the words of Danielle Dove -  "the best way of getting rid of my feelings of insecurity, was to get on my path of serving my life purpose".  My feelings of insecurity had always been a stumbling block, a hurdle placed across my path by my ego.  My insecurity reared it's ugly head when I feared how others thought about me or worse, I was so worried that when I interpreted anything based on my gut feel, it could  be wrong because my rational mind started to analyze it and mentally build a business case for what could explain that gut feel in practical terms.

So this week, I learnt to be gentle on myself. I learnt to acknowledge my intuitive gifts, and more so, I learnt to acknowledge some of the pitfalls of my gifts like the insecurities, the constant drain on my energy and the pains or sadness I had absorbed from other people.  I asked myself then, "What were these experiences attempting to teach me and what purpose did they have for their existence before sending them some love and light for healing.  

I learnt to take care of myself better,  I rested when the body and mind told me it needed rest to recharge and recuperate.  I learnt to listen more intently to my clients and look beyond the Tarot Cards, Numerology and Astrology for more insights that could help offer them even better advice.  I learnt to meditate with better focusedness and clearer intent, visualizing what I had intended to manifest at the end of the meditation session.  I learnt to ask for help from the Universe for everything, shedding away my ego and my pride.   When I needed help to stay grounded when it got all too much for me, my mind and body automatically went on "rest" mode.  When I felt a calling to sink my feet deep within the grass, I would gather the dogs and go out for a walk by the beach.   

Guided By The Empress

Today, I meditated to the Empress card.  I picked the card from the Radiant Rider Waite deck.   The Empress depicted within the card wore a crown of stars which suggested her connection to the mystical realm of angels and spirit guides.  She had an intuitive connection to the divine which allowed her to tune in to the messages she needed to fill the earth with her love and abundance.  It was a message for me to tune into my higher self  and trust the messages it provided that was necessary for the healing of my clients and myself.   The Empress was full-bodied and pregnant, dressed in a rich robe with images of pomegranates printed on her robe.  This hinted to me that I had to be ready for the birth of a new aspect of myself, a new awareness of my capabilities and what it could do for my clients and myself.  The Empress sat amongst lush greenery.  She was an archetypal earth mother, very connected with nature.  She called to me to be grounded and renew my spirit by re-connecting with nature regularly.  I needed that. When it got all too much for me, I needed to go walk barefoot in the park and feel the wind in my face.

The Empress was governed by the planet Venus which was the planet of love and harmony.  She reminded me that I must always come from a place of pure intent, directing my gifts to serve only the highest good, in love, truth and light.  I must trust my instincts and my intuition, even without the use of my Tarot cards, my Numerological calculations or my Astrological assessments.  I had to learn to create harmony of body, mind and spirit within myself so that I could better help others. 

The Empress guided me  to learn to trust my own capabilities to manifest healing with my gifts as an Empath.

About The Writer:

The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and is also a certified numerologist.  She is currently running a Tarot consultancy based in Singapore called Sun Goddess Tarot,  which provides confidential intuitive readings combining the metaphysical disciplines of Tarot, Numerology and Astrology via face to face and emails as well as readings at corporate and private events and workshops.  A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and mentors Tarot protégés on behalf of the American Tarot Association

Website: www.sungoddesstarot.com
Email:  Joanna@sungoddesstarot.com
Facebook:  www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot
Twitter: www.twitter.com/SunGoddessTarot
Blog: http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com

The Empress from the Radiant Rider Waite Tarot deck updated by Virginijus Poshkus

Being True To Myself

Being True To Myself

I feel like the Page of Swords, embracing new opportunities to learn more and hone my Tarot reading skills with every chance I get.  I would be signing up for courses, buying more books, registering for workshops, meeting up with my friends in my local Tarot community and discussing new ideas with my mentors, or friends from the international Tarot community.

However this is what gets to me and if I wasn’t the strong King of Wands type, being a typical Leo, I would have caved in and decide to spend my time knitting in my quiet corner instead.

A Continuous Learning Curve

As I have been through a very steep learning curve when I started out on my journey with Tarot, I made it my commitment to help novice Tarot readers who are still starting out on their journey with Tarot.  And the very basic advice I often give them is that no matter where you are at with Tarot and how experienced a reader you are, you can never claim to be the best Tarot reader than someone else.  Embracing Tarot is a spiritual journey; it’s not a material thing that you garner. It’s not a clothing you wear, it’s not a title on a  plaque you put on your desk, it’s not  So no one should ever stop learning along his or her journey.

Tarot Certifications

I have been personally attacked in conversations about my pride in having obtained the Certified Professional Tarot Reader (CPTR) qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA).  Someone said to me, “I have been a professional Tarot reader for the last 30 years, who are the TCBA to come and tell me whether I am a proficient reader or not?”  I wanted to get online to check the TCBA’s mission and vision and send it across to her.  Then, I stopped myself because I don’t need the mission and vision of anything to deal with someone who perhaps hasn’t the mind and grace to understand what they mean anyway.

Frankly, that’s the stupidest comment I have ever come across.  Some 25 years ago, when I applied for and got into my University of choice,  I was elated about the opportunity to learn something new, embrace a new life, make new friends, and perhaps “grow up”.  When I went to work and had the opportunity to hire a team, I hired a mix of wonderful people who were from different backgrounds.  Some had a university qualification, and some hadn’t.  However each of them brought a special skillset and personality to the table that helped contribute to the success of the company.  Ultimately, it didn’t matter which school they studied at, or whether they were University graduates or whether they had 30 years of experience in marketing.  The dynamics of a profession like mine as a marketeer required one who not only had experience and was technically trained.  Beyond these basic requisites, one had to have great soft skills to manage cross functional teamwork and leadership skills to manage a team with a view to meeting the company’s business goals.

So my point is this.  Within the Tarot community, some of us have certifications from different certification boards, some don’t. Some have more than 30 years of experience, and some don’t.  However it doesn’t matter.  As light workers, the Universe has equipped us with our different skills and abilities with one goal, to bring clarity and assurance to the people in our lives. 

I chose to pursue a certification as my personal ambition to always better myself.  It didn’t stop at the certification from the TCBA.  I am still doing my course work every day for several other courses I had signed up for.  And I am doing all these with the genuine intent to learn and be better in what I do.  Sometimes, my clients teach me what the certification exams don’t teach me.  I learn to deal with different scenarios, different personalities, and even nasty clients and skeptics.

In short, it doesn’t matter what you’ve studied, and how many years of experience you have.  I always believe that if the intent is pure, the Universe will present the opportunity to you in its own time and pace.  So there’s no need for that sabre-rattling on social media platforms dishing all that negative energy around whether one should get certified or not.  I think your energy is better spent on clients who need you most.  .   

Temperance And The Empress

This morning, I picked a Card du Jour which I usually do on a daily basis.  Temperance was picked and let me repeat in this blog post what I had posted on my Sun Goddess Tarot Facebook page as the interpretation for my Card Du Jour – “Temperance is an appropriate card du jour as we approach mid-week.  It advises you to manage challenges with a measure of moderation, patience, calm and control.”  It’s a great advice for me at the moment when I feel like taking off my shoes and throwing it at that cow.

Then I picked the Empress for further clarification.  It’s even clearer now.  The Empress has asked me to continue to do what I do which fulfills me, and manage such cows with a generous and understanding spirit.  I should be thankful that with that one “nay-sayer”, I am surrounded by so many more people who believe in me, love my work and encourage my continuous learning.  I am blessed.  

These cards were picked from Ciro Marchetti’s Gilded Tarot deck.

You Will Never Stop Me

I dislike “nay-sayers”.  I detest the negativity of people who are out to proof a point about nothing and hasn’t done much to look deeper into their inner being to drag their shadow of fear for competition out of the closet.  That’s basically what it was when I am confronted with a situation like this. 

I have no time for such negativity.  My clients need me particularly when they are under duress.  My protégés need me there to hold their hands and guide them through their respective journeys with Tarot.

Onward and upwards.

About The Writer:
The writer of this blog post is a marketeer by trade, and a tarot card reader by accident. She was awarded a Certified Professional Tarot Reader qualification from the Tarot Certification Board of America (TCBA) and was recently certified as a numerologist in Singapore. A member of the American Tarot Association (ATA) and the Tarot Association of the British Isles (TABI), she is also a reader for the Free Tarot Network and is a mentor for the ATA.   She can be contacted at www.facebook.com/SunGoddessTarot or www.sungoddesstarot.com